How can I get paid…

…to do this?

Scientists in the eastern German city of Jena said Wednesday they have finally given up after three years of failed attempts to entice a sloth into budging as part of an experiment in animal movement.

So what do you call a sloth who lies on the floor all day?

Mats! Perfect!

Axel Burchardt, a University of Jena’s Institute of Systematic Zoology and Evolutionary Biology spokesman sums up Mats’ academic curiousity…

“Mats obviously wanted absolutely nothing to do with furthering science,”

Yes, obviously.  I bet he’d excel as a throw rug.  Can I get funding for a study on that?

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